If you'll be late for any reason, please let me know as soon as possible.

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I'm happy to accommodate delays as long as I'm aware of them and my schedule allows, but I will consider you a no-call, no-show if I haven't heard from you at all within fifteen minutes of our planned start time.

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Once you've arrived at my location, please remain in your vehicle until invited up.

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You are also welcome to wait at a nearby establishment, but please do not linger around the callbox or approach my door. This is equally important whether you're early, late, or on time.

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Upon entering my oasis, please place your consideration somewhere visible.

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I request that you do this as soon as possible and before refreshing yourself. Please don't put me in the uncomfortable position of having to ask, or wonder about your intentions.

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After our initial greeting, please excuse yourself to the bathroom to freshen up.

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I now require all visitors to shower and use mouthwash upon arrival, regardless of how recently you may have done so. Rest assured, our visit will be improved for it and my gratitude will be evident.

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I request that even freshly washed hands please not be inserted anywhere.

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On me, anyway... You're welcome to request otherwise for yourself. As a connoisseur of touch, I'm happy to suggest myriad other uses for your hands while we're exploring our connection.

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Overnight dates of all lengths include a minimum of eight hours' undisturbed, uninterrupted sleep.

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While I enjoy a bit of morning frolicking as much as anyone, please wait to initiate such until after the full time allotted for sleep has passed. I assure you, I am much more fun when I'm properly rested.

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Communication is beautiful and always encouraged.

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I will do my very best to let you know what works for me, and I encourage you to do the same. Please feel free to ask questions if you have any doubts or want to try something new, or even just want to make sure everything is feeling good.

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